


ever since you saved me (i don't hold the weight of the world anymore)

by forbiddenquill



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Post 4x22, i needed to write something after 4x22, very mild fight scenes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-04-07 18:26:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19090618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forbiddenquill/pseuds/forbiddenquill
Summary: AU: Post 4x22. Kara keeps trying to tell Lena she’s Supergirl, while Lena keeps trying to tell Kara she’s in love with her, despite knowing her secret. What ensues are a bunch of inappropriately timed confessions.(or alternatively: Kara and Lena keep getting interrupted.)





	ever since you saved me (i don't hold the weight of the world anymore)

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from Jon Bellion's 'Weight of the World' song. 
> 
> Also, this was supposed to be very short and cute but it sort of got long and angsty along the way. Anyway, I needed to write something after that post-reveal and I believe that I have been purged of my Supercorp feelings. (For now.) 
> 
> Enjoy!

 

…

“Hey, Lena, I need to tell you something. I -- I’m Supergirl.” Kara takes off her glasses, staring at her reflection in the mirror before she shakes her head and lets out a tired sigh. “That’s not good enough. You’ve lied to her for years, you moron. Do you really think she’s going to listen to you with a starting sentence like _that_?”

She’s alone at her apartment. For now. In a few minutes, Lena will show up at her door bringing potstickers and ice cream. After the whole argument about Kara not being there in times of need, she’s made a point to catch up with Lena straight after work or to invite her for casual movie nights since they’ve missed so many already. Her best friend welcomes the shift, even though it’s basically just nights filled with Kara trying to find the courage to tell Lena that she’s Supergirl.

The first few attempts were untimely. Lena would be staring at nothing in particular, her green eyes glassy and unfocused. She would get this look on her face when she’s thinking to herself. A soft scrunch would appear between her eyebrows, her mouth would set itself in a straight line and her fingers would twirl whatever object it had in its grip, usually a pen, sometimes a cup of coffee. Kara would often find herself staring during moments like that, because rarely does she see Lena unguarded and vulnerable. It’s a privilege, sometimes, to be the one person who knows Lena Luthor the most. The words would be on the tip of her tongue: _Lena, I have to tell you something but_  she'd always just chicken out in the end.

It just sucks that Lena is completely and totally unaware of Kara’s biggest secret in life.

( _Even though she is completely and totally aware, not that Kara knows_.)

Which is why tonight, Kara is going to tell her that she’s Supergirl. After three years, she’s going to sit Lena down on the couch and just tell her to her face -- _Lena, I’m Supergirl._ She fully expects anger and bitterness at having kept Lena in the dark after all this time. Lena might not even speak to her for a few weeks. It’ll sting, but it’s for the best. She just hopes that Lena holds their friendship with the same weight -- she can’t bear the idea of losing her over this.

A knock on the front door interrupts her thoughts. She shoves her glasses back, runs her fingers through her dark blonde hair and gives her a reflection a thumbs up in the mirror. Tonight is the night. She can do this. She's Supergirl, for Rao's sake.

When she swings the door open, she finds Lena on the other side, holding a paper bag of potstickers in one hand and a tub of cookie dough flavored ice cream n another. Her hair is tied up in a high ponytail and her face is devoid of any make-up but Kara feels her breath hitch at her throat. The sight of her best friend looking at her like that, all gentle eyes and easy smiles; it’s enough to make Kara feel the guilt churning at the bottom of her stomach.

“Hey, stranger,” Kara says, grinning.

“I bought your favorite,” Lena tells her.

“Ah.” Kara takes the food and resists the urge to plant a kiss on Lena’s cheek. Potstickers have that effect on her. “Have I ever told you I love you?” she says instead.

She turns away to put the ice cream into the freezer, completely missing the blush that takes over Lena’s pale cheeks. “Yes,” the brunette slowly says, “I believe that you have.”

“Allow me the pleasure of saying it again,” Kara says, getting slightly lost in Lena’s bright green eyes when she turns to look at her, and then finds that she can’t actually say the words out loud for some reason. It feels like there’s a sudden weight in her chest -- not entirely bad, not entirely good either. Lena’s eyebrows furrow in the smallest of movements and Kara pretends like she’s heard her phone ringing from the other side of the apartment. “I think Alex is calling.”

The look Lena sends her makes her pause. "Right," the Luthor says, tilting her head and smiling faintly, "Only you would be able to hear it."

Kara lets that cryptic comment go over her head and hurries to her bedroom where no calls from Alex wait for her. She takes a deep breath and finds that her fingers are shaking. Faintly, she can hear Lena moving about in the kitchen, arranging the plates and preparing the potstickers. _Tonight is the night,_  she tells herself, feeling the burn of anxiety at the very pit of her stomach, _you can do this, Kara._

When she emerges from her bedroom after that mini panic attack, she finds Lena hiding a yawn from behind her hand. "Long day?" she asks.

“Yes,” she admits, “I’m sorry. There were many board meetings.”

“Boring old men trying to get in your favor for their advantage?” Kara asks, always in awe at how gracious Lena can be in front of people who piss her off.

Lena lets out a humorless laugh. “Yes,” she answers, “Some of those men always blow things out of proportions. Always lying in front of my face.” She says it so casually but Kara feels her entire body break into a sweat.

“That must’ve been annoying.”

“Some people think they can fool me and get away with it.” Lena scoffs and reaches for the bottle of wine Kara has stashed away in the cupboard. “They’ve got another thing coming.”

“Uh huh,” Kara mumbles, rubbing the back of her neck. “Should we eat?”

The next half hour is spent on eating the potstickers and sharing little details about their whole day. After her usual strung of board meetings, Lena experimented on a bunch of things in her laboratory. On the other hand, Kara lies about a few Supergirl things she did for the DEO, especially since the White House denounced her Public Enemy No. 1. status, and mumbles about her usual conversations with Snapper regarding a bunch of her articles. She says all of this while avoiding her best friend’s gaze, knowing that if she sees Lena listening to her attentively like she always does, then the guilt would just eat her up all over again. If Lena senses her mood, she doesn’t mention it.

After dinner, they usually cuddle on the couch and watch a movie together but nobody moves from their spot at the kitchen table. Kara finds herself playing around with the last piece of dumpling on her plate, trying to gather her usual courage to just flat out and say the secret that’s plagued their friendship since two years ago. Kara’s so absorbed in her own thoughts that she doesn’t see Lena taking a deep breath and flexing her fingers, the way she always does when she’s about to deliver a speech at some press conference.

“Kara, I need to tell you something -- ”

“Lena, there’s something I -- ”

The two women pause and smile. Lena nods at her. “You go ahead.”

“No, no, you go ahead.” She’s prolonging her agony but buying these few precious seconds to build up her courage is worth it. She doesn’t want to babble and rattle in front of her best friend. She needs to show her that telling her is as important as all the secrets that Lena confessed to her during moments of weakness.

“I’m afraid that I’ve lost the nerve,” Lena murmurs, sipping her red wine.

Something in Kara’s chest twists and turns. It always does whenever she sees Lena retreating away from her. She understands where she comes from, how trusts to her is a double-edged sword that can both be her redemption and downfall, but that doesn’t mean it still doesn’t sting. So she reaches forward and places her hand on Lena’s, giving her an encouraging smile.

“You know you can always tell me anything, right?” she says.

“Always,” Lena whispers in return, a little bit hollow. She smiles in return. “You look like you want to tell me something. What is it?”

Kara’s stomach plummets. It’s definitely not the potstickers. Okay, she can do this. “So uhm,” she begins, also losing the nerve, “there’s something that I’ve been meaning to tell you. It’s been nagging at me for _years_ now and I just, you know, needed to tell you that I uhm -- ” She looks up at Lena then and she probably shouldn’t have because Lena isn’t looking at her like she isn’t going to hate her for the next few minutes or days perhaps. Instead, she’s looking at Kara like she always does: open and honest, green eyes earnest and loving, her lips caught in between her teeth as she listens to Kara rambling on.

Her best friend…

Whom she’s been lying to for _years_.

“I really, really hate kale,” Kara finishes. It’s not technically a lie but it’s something to fill the silence.

Something flickers in Lena’s eyes. It’s clear that she only half believes her. “That’s not really a secret, darling,” she says teasingly.

“I know,” Kara agrees, her heart weighing heavily inside her chest, “I just -- I thought you should know that in case you suddenly surprise me with you know, kale on my birthday or something.”

“While that is a tempting idea, I’m afraid that I won’t subject you to such cruelty.”

Kara smiles tightly. “That’s good to hear.” She shoves the last dumping into her mouth and glances at Lena’s hands on the dinner table, fingers digging into the skin underneath the nails. “Now, I think it’s your turn,” the blonde tells her, “you said that you have something to tell me.”

They should’ve really watched a movie, Kara thinks. So that she won’t have to sit there in front of Lena with lead in her throat for not having told her about Supergirl yet _again._  It would be so easy -- just take off her glasses and her ponytail and everything will be laid out there in the open. No words would need to be said. Lena can either forgive her or leave her.

The extremities make her heart race.

“Oh,” Lena says, waving her off, “It’s nothing, Kara. Just… you know, erm, quantum physics.”

“Well, you can make anything sound interesting, even the healthy qualities of a good kale salad,” Kara points out, standing up and putting their plates away, “You know that you can tell me anything. Even if it is completely and utterly nerdy.”

“Like I said,” Lena murmurs, taking another swing at her wine, “I’ve lost the nerve.”

Kara doesn’t push. She knows that if she does, Lena will only retreat further back into her shell.

“Well, you can tell me later, if you want,” Kara offers in earnest, extending her hand and waiting for Lena to take it. After a brief pause, she does. “Now, I was promised _No Strings Attached._  I already have it queued up on Netflix.”

“This is the movie with Ashton Kutcher, correct?”

Kara throws her a smile. “You did your research. I’m proud.”

They set up for movie night. Lena readies the couch with enough pillows to build a small fort while Kara takes the tub of cookie dough flavored ice cream and puts it on the coffee table in front of them. They start the movie, with Kara on the right side of the couch and Lena occupying the left. A soft cotton blanket covers their knees and as the movie starts, Kara feels Lena’s fingers brush against her own underneath the fabric. Her breath catches in her throat.

The beginning of the movie is uneventful. They laugh at the funny bits and grow somber when Natalie Portman’s character calls up Ashton Kutcher’s to tell him that she misses him, despite the fact they didn’t even technically go out in the first place. It’s all very touching, indeed. Kara finds herself holding back tears later in the movie when Natalie finally says: _I love you. I’m totally and completely in love with you. And I don’t care if it’s too late. I’m telling you anyway._ She’s always been a sucker for romcoms but there’s just something about the way the line is delivered makes her wish that she possessed the same kind of courage Natalie Portman had.

_I’m Supergirl. And I don’t care if it’s too late. I’m telling you anyway._

“Lena, there’s something I _really_ need to say,” Kara finds herself saying, pausing the movie in the middle of Ashton and Natalie’s kiss. Her heartbeat is ringing loudly inside her ears. She doesn’t look at her best friend but reaches up to take off her glasses, noting the way her fingers shake as she does so. “I shouldn’t have kept this from you. I just… I wanted to have a normal relationship for once. One that didn’t need me to be Supergirl. I wanted to be Kara Danvers around you. I _am_ Kara Danvers around you. Nothing has changed. I care about you. Always have and always will and I --”

The silence is unbearable. Kara takes another deep breath and turns to Lena’s side of the couch. “I’m Supergi -- ” Her words die in her throat, followed by a choked laugh.

Lena’s head leans against the arm of the couch, tendrils of her hair sticking to the sides of her cheeks and the nape of her neck, as she blissfully sleeps on, light puffs of air coming out of her nose. She must’ve been a lot more tired than she initially let on. Kara doesn’t find it in herself to be disappointed at such bad timing since it literally happened while they were watching a romcom together. Instead, she finds its cute. She doubts that Lena would allow herself to sleep in any place unless she truly feels protected and safe. Kara sighs in contentment, puts her glasses back on and shuts off the TV. Her best friend is tired. She doesn’t need to be bombarded with a life-changing secret that’s been right in front of her for the past two years.

Kara knows that it’s a bad idea but she doesn’t want Lena to have a stiff neck by the time she wakes up so she crouches in front of the couch and slips her arms underneath Lena’s warm body. She’s careful not to wake her because Lena is light as a feather, prone to waking up, and it’ll be hard trying to convince the CEO that she gyms on the weekends even though she has actively expressed her hatred for it. Lena shifts suddenly, leaning closer to Kara’s chest, and Kara feels like her entire body is going to combust into flames.

 _Breathe, breathe, breathe,_  she tells herself, even though she doesn’t understand why she has to. Being physically close with Lena has never been a problem before but she suddenly feels all tingly inside. Like this is some kind of Kryptonite that makes her body go all mush. She catches herself staring at Lena’s features as she carries her to the bedroom, watching the slight furrow of her eyebrows, the faint shadows under her eyes, the curve of her pink lips…

“I’m so sorry,” Kara whispers, feeling tears sting the back of her eyes. She was so close to telling her back in Kaznia but the thought of losing Lena Luthor forever seemed like a death sentence she wasn’t ready to face. “I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve _you_.”

She quickly puts Lena on the bed before her tears fall from her eyes. Tucking her in and avoiding looking at her, Kara’s heart grows heavy with each second that passes, with each second that Lena spends not knowing that her best friend has lied to her for years and with each second that Kara feels like the worst best friend in the entire freaking universe.

She sleeps on the couch with dried tear tracks on her cheeks and Lena’s steady heartbeat in her ears.

…

The next time she tries to tell Lena, they’re in the middle of buying a gift for Alex on her birthday, which is actually next week. It’s a Sunday so thankfully, there are no evil alien attacks right around the corner, no press conferences or board meetings to attend. It’s just her and Lena. Just the two of them. Walking around the mall. With Kara’s mind going a hundred miles per hour because it’s really not the best place to say _‘oh hey, I’m Supergirl_ ’ out of nowhere but Lena’s giving her that look again -- that _look_ that just screams of trust and love -- and it’s really starting to mess with her. Being around Lena does nothing but deepen the guilt she feels and yet, she can’t stop the pull that brings her closer to the Luthor every single time.

“What do you plan on getting her?” Lena asks as they pass by a row of combat boots.

Kara shrugs. “I’m not really sure,” she admits, “When you’ve lived with somebody for so long, your choice of gifts drastically narrow down as time goes on.”

Lena nods, smiling to herself. “I wouldn’t really know.”

It’s those self-deprecating comments that make Kara’s _‘Lena Luthor must be protected at all costs_ ’ attitude flare up. She swoops around to give Lena one of her perfectly crafted glares -- the kind of glare that would make World Killers stumble in their steps but only makes Lena’s smile grow wider.

“You and I know that self-pity has no place in this friendship of ours,” Kara says seriously, “You do not say those things when you’re standing in front of your best friend.”

Lena’s smile is cryptic as she murmurs, “My hero.”

They end up at the Furniture section of the mall. Kara runs her hands down the couches she passes by, especially the ones with plastic covers that read _NO SITTING PLEASE,_  fondly remembering the time she and Alex would have a competition on who could sit down the longest without getting caught by security. Kara would always win, since she cheated by using her Superspeed to run away when a guard yelled at her to move and because Alex was such a stick in the mud, even back then. She refused to sit for a few seconds longer than necessary.

“I don’t think Alex is looking for furniture, Kara,” Lena points out.

“We used to play a game every time we were in stores like this.” Glancing around them, Kara pulls Lena onto the couch. Their shift in weight causes the plastic cover to make an annoying sound effect. Like tires screeching on pavement. “I’d dare Alex to sit for as long as possible. She always lost.”

Lena gives her best friend a look. “And you’re daring to do the same to me?”

“Well, if you win, I’ll take you out to dinner sometime,” Kara says without thinking, completely missing the way Lena’s eyebrows shoot up, “We always have take-out at my place. It’d be nice to you know, get away somewhere.”

There’s something about the way Lena is looking at her that seems strangely familiar. Kara can’t place it. She decides to think about it next time. “So, you up for it? Sitting down until security catches us? It’s quite _irresponsible._ ”

“Mother always called me a rebellious daughter for a reason.” Lena glances at the guard standing watch by the entrance of the store and gives Kara one of her dazzling smiles. “Lex’s mistakes were far more forgivable than mine.”

Lena has always been flippant in her words. The way she carelessly disregards her own mortality in the face of danger. How she underplays all of the emotional trauma she went through. The self-pity in her eyes every time she is reminded of her half-brother. It makes Kara want to scream at everybody in the world who has somehow had a hand in degrading Lena’s worth as a person. It makes her want to wrap her arms around Lena and never let go. It makes her want to be the best version of herself because she sees that Lena is trying to be as well.

She finds a lump in her throat at the thought. Here is Lena _again_ , being completely honest and open to her, and Kara can’t even do the same thing.

“Your mother was wrong,” Kara tells her earnestly, letting her fingers run down Lena’s arm and missing the way Lena shivers.  She has trouble asking the next question: “Do you miss him?”

It’s been a few weeks since Supergirl found Lena grieving over Lex’s body, having been the one to fatally shot him. Kara can still remember the redness in Lena’s eyes and her shaking hands t the sight of the gun next to her. The memory of it pains Kara because Lena has lost so many people in her life and it still hits her like a fresh wound.

Lena pauses at the question before she glances at her, eyes soft and warm. “Yes,” she admits, a hint of bitterness in her tone, “Even after everything he’s said and done to me, I still miss him. He might’ve been psychotic, narcissistic and crazy but he was still my brother.” She lets out a huge sigh, as if saying those words out loud has finally shed the weight off her shoulders and given her absolution.  

Biting the inside of her cheek, Kara says, “It doesn’t make you a bad person if you miss him.”

“I know.” Lena shrugs. “I was just a fool.”

Kara thinks back to all the moments Lena hated herself for being too trusting or too good or too naive. The guilt in her stomach grows until it’s practically large enough to stop the airway in her lungs, disabling her from breathing. She wants to be so _different_ from all the other people in Lena’s life. She doesn’t want to be lumped together with everybody who has ever betrayed or hurt the Luthor in some way. There’s just something about being so close to Lena and seeing the good she tries to bring into the world that makes Kara want to confess every wrong thing she’s ever done. Like a sinner baring her soul in a confessional box.  

“You’re not a fool,” Kara whispers, adjusting her glasses.

“Oh, I am,” Lena says, “Believe me, Kara. I’ve been a fool in so many ways. Not just one.”

Kara shifts her weight, causing the couch to make that screeching sound effect again. It’s definitely the wrong place to do this. They’re in public, for crying out loud. If Lena were to slap her right then and now, she wouldn’t blame her.

She’s about to open her mouth to say _Lena, I’m Supergirl --_

“I need to tell you something,” Lena says suddenly, beating her to the punch. She straightens her back and looks Kara in the eye. “This might actually be the worst place to say this but I can’t hold it in any longer. I’ve known this for a while now and I just have to tell you -- ”

The urgency in her tone shuts Kara up. She just nods, confusing filling her bones. Lena doesn’t look like she’s about to deliver good news. In fact, she looks a little pale. Like she’s about to throw up or something.

“Kara Danvers, I’m -- ”

“You’re not pregnant, are you?” Kara asks hurriedly because the last thing she wants is to put additional stress on her best friend who may or may not have a baby in her belly.

The shock in Lena’s face is enough of an answer for Kara. The Kryptonian bites her lower lip and nods. “Okay, I’m sorry. You just look -- well, _sick_.”

“Jesus, I’m not -- what on earth -- _pregnant,_ ” Lena mumbles, facepalming, “I’m far from that. I haven’t even been on a single date since James and I broke up.”

Kara nods at that too. “I know.”

Lena glances at her sharply. “Kara, what I’m trying to tell you is -- ”

 _“Hey, you’re not supposed to sit on the couches_!” the security guard standing by the entrance yells at them, finally noticing the two women who look like they’re in the middle of a life crisis. Kara flinches, quickly grabbing Lena by the hand and bolting them out of there. She’s careful not to drag Lena around like a rag doll due to her super strength and when they around the corner to hide into the nearest restroom, she swiftly sweeps her eyes on her best friend to make sure that no bodily harm has been done from their hasty exit.

Lena only looks annoyed. “I keep forgetting just how strong you are,” she remarks, rubbing at her shoulder.

Kara grins. “Gym helps, right?”

The restroom is empty except for the two of them. Lena glances at her reflection in the mirror and sighs loudly. “We still haven’t found a gift for Alex,” she says tersely.

“There was a rack of leather jackets on the second floor,” Kara recalls, pushing her glasses up her nose, “Anyway, what is it that you wanted to tell me? It sounded important.”

Lena looks at her for a few seconds longer than necessary before shaking her head. “I just wanted to tell you that I’ll be flying to London tonight. It’s for a business trip.”

“Oh.” The concept of not seeing Lena for a few short days makes Kara slightly nauseous. “Okay. I’ll still be here waiting for you, of course.”

Lena gives her a fond look. "Is that what you usually do when I'm on my trips?"

It's sort of embarrassing just how clearly Lena can see right through her. Kara blushes deeply and fixes her glasses once more. The Luthor is always a busy person to be friends with and Kara has had to compete with board meetings and conference calls for a little bit of her time. She can't exactly blame her since Kara is merely a call away from the DEO whenever the city is in danger. However, on the days where she has all the time in the world and Lena is away on one of her business trips — well, waiting for her to come back is kind of the only thing she can do.

"Perhaps?" Kara answers a moment later, shooting the brunette a grin.

"Okay." Lena fixes her hair, smiling at her reflection in the mirror. "You should pack your things."

The abrupt change in topic surprises Kara. "What?"

“We’re leaving tonight via private jet.” The CEO takes out her lipstick and reapplies it. Her words immediately warm Kara. “Unless you know of a faster way to get to London. I’m open to anything even though we both know that the only thing faster than my personalized jet is Supergirl.”

Kara lets out an uncomfortable laugh, looking away from Lena’s knowing gaze. “Right,” she says, “Nothing beats Supergirl.”

“Furthermore,” Lena continues, smirking, “I was promised dinner if I could sit longer on the couch.”

Kara thinks of dinner in London, of Lena in a classy red dress, of eating out with her in a fancy restaurant and wonders if she can last a few more days of torture before she inevitably confesses about Supergirl. Being away from National City, even if it is only a few days, could be good for her. No more distractions. No confessions falling on deaf ears. No security guard chasing them down the mall. Just her and Lena. Alone. In a Hotel Room. Far from National City.  It will be the perfect time to tell her.

“I will see you in your personalized jet which is not as fast as Supergirl but definitely fast enough,” Kara chirps, mentally slapping herself, “but first, we need to buy Alex a new leather jacket that isn’t black.”

…

“So, you’re planning to tell Lena that you’re Supergirl while you’re both in London,” Alex states when Kara swings the door open to let her sister in later that afternoon.

“Huh? How did you manage to get all of that out of my _SOS_ text?” the Super asks, frazzled. She’d been in the middle of shoving all of her cardigans in one suitcase before realizing that she needed space for her underwear. She throws away the said clothing straight into an open bag as Alex walks straight into her apartment.

“First of all, I’m your sister,” Alex says, “Second of all, Lena asked permission from me to take you to London. Which is kind of weird but sweet at the same time. She was all like, _I promise that no harm will come to Kara while she’s with me in another country._  Jesus. I can put two and two together. I’m not like Lena who suddenly can’t recognize a coffee table if it has glasses on.”

Kara shoots her a glare but Alex simply shrugs. “Yes,” the blonde says after a moment, “I am planning on telling her.”

A neutral expression passes through Alex’s features. “Okay.” She sighs, as if every person that Kara has told about her secret identity is a step closer to an early grave. “I get you. Ever since game night, you’ve been a lot more fidgety around her. I trust her enough.”

The clock reads 5:30 PM. Kara’s supposed to be meeting Lena at the airport by 7 but she guesses that she can have one last heart-to-heart talk with her sister before zooming out of her apartment in a jiffy. After shutting her suitcase and making sure that her phone’s all charged for the trip, she takes a seat next to Alex and says, “I wasn’t really going to ask for your permission but I’m glad that you still gave it.”

Alex smiles at her. “I’m just looking out for you.”

“I know.” Kara takes off her glasses and sighs. “I just -- I don’t want to lose her.”

Her sister reaches out and squeezes her hand. “Lena will understand,” she quietly says, “It might hurt her at first but you’ve been best friends for years now. I doubt that she would trade that for anything else in this world.”

Looking down at the glasses in her hands, Kara thinks about all the times that Lena has opened up to her. It has always been refreshing -- to have somebody looking at Kara Danvers without matching her with Supergirl. To feel completely and utterly human. To be cared for simply because she’s somebody’s best friend and not an alien strong enough to hold up ten cars with one hand.

“She didn’t deserve to be kept in the dark for so long,” Kara mumbles.

“Better late than never, sis.”

“Right.”

Alex hums to herself. “It will be okay.”

Kara allows herself to sink into her sister’s side while her brain tries to imagine all the possible scenarios that could occur once she tells Lena about being Supergirl. One, Lena might completely understand and still want to be friends with her. Two, Lena  might be a little upset and leave her alone for a few days before eventually coming back. Or three, Lena might be so furious at her that she’d cut off all contact with her and never show up ever again. The third prospect is the most daunting and it’s the one that Kara thinks will end up being real. Lena has constantly told her about how trust is a huge thing for her and for Kara to just blindly toy around with it is more than insulting.

A buzz from Alex’s phone interrupts her thoughts. “It’s the DEO,” her sister says, “Something about some important shit getting misplaced. I have to go.”

Kara sighs, nodding. “Thanks for the pep talk,” she says, leading her out.  

“You’ll always have me for pep talks.” Alex lingers by the door, eyeing the shopping bags on the kitchen counter. “Also, unless you want me feigning surprise on my birthday, I suggest you keep your presents well hidden.”

“Are you sure you’re not the _least_ bit Kryptonian?” Kara asks, hugging her tightly, “Because I thought I was the one who’s supposed to have X-ray vision.”

“I do have a superpower.” Alex pecks her on the cheek. “It’s called being your sister.”

After Alex leaves and Kara finally finishes with her packing, there’s still thirty minutes left before she has to be at Lena’s private airport. She uses this time to fly out into the air, high enough to nearly breach Earth’s atmosphere but still low enough that anybody can see her up there if they squint hard enough. By tomorrow morning, she’ll be in London with Lena by her side. She thinks back to her years in the Phantom Zone and shudders. Being alone has always been one of her deepest fears, strengthened with how long she spent in her escape pod but she can’t help but think of Lena now. Alone is a state that Lena has gotten used to and she seems to have taken it into stride. She seems to have accepted that being alone was not temporary but fate. Kara isn’t having any of that.

 _Tell her now_ , she scolds at herself, breathing in the cold air.

She shuts her eyes and fixes her Super hearing to where Lena is. She’s at L-Corp, finishing some last minute paperwork. The sounds of pen scratching on paper and Lena breathing rhythmically slightly calms Kara down. She rewires her thoughts and focuses on her best friend’s steady heartbeat. _Alive, alive, alive_ , she thinks to herself. Still here. Still her friend. Despite not knowing who Kara really is.

She changes into her Supersuit and rushes into L-Corp, only stopping when she’s a breath away from the balcony doors. Lena hasn’t sensed her yet and Kara finds her mouth going dry at the thought of confessing everything to her now. Is she really going to do this? Right before their London trip? She hovers a few inches above the floor, her fist raised to knock on the glass, before she lets out a soft sigh and shakes her head.

She can’t do this as Supergirl.

She flies away, still listening to Lena’s steady heartbeat and not noticing Lena’s eyes following her as she goes.

…

London is wet and dreary. Kara curses the fact that she didn’t bring as many jackets as she should’ve, which is only a cause of amusement for Lena, who came prepared. They don’t spend as much as time as she would’ve liked. The minute they step foot in the city, Lena is immediately whisked away into several meetings and conferences that don’t exactly give Kara the much needed attention she’s used to from her best friend. But no matter -- while Lena is listening away to a bunch of boring white men drone on and on about the cons of green energy, Kara is waltzing around the city in search for a good restaurant. She did promise Lena dinner.

She manages to get a spot at a modest looking bistro not too far from the hotel that they’re staying at. It mostly serves French food, a type of cuisine that she isn’t really familiar with, but when she finds out that they have kale salad, she quickly books the reservation. It’s not really up to Lena’s standards of classy restaurants but it will have to do.

Lena told her she’d be free around 7 PM so Kara readies herself until then. She’s not sure if this qualifies for a date but she dresses to impress, wearing a dark navy blue dress with high-heeled boots. She wears her hair in a loose ponytail, making sure that her curls don’t look too messy and not wanting Lena to think that this might be a date-date, even though some part of her wants it to be.

When it’s five minutes before 7, Kara shoots into the sky and lands behind the building where Lena holds her meetings. She makes sure that nobody saw her landing but realizes that it doesn’t really matter because nobody even knows that Supergirl is in London. Thinking about their reservation, she immediately hurries inside the building and presses the number of Lena’s floor at the elevator.

When the doors open, Kara is pleasantly surprised to find Lena already waiting on the other side.

“I hope I don’t seem to eager for our dinner,” Kara says, smiling at the sight of her best friend.

Something flashes across Lena’s face. Her eyes trail down Kara’s body. “Hey,” she breathes, “You’re a sight for sore eyes.” They embrace quickly, Kara breathing in the scent of flowers in the brunette’s hair.

“Miss you,” Kara mumbles.

“It’s only been a few hours.”

“Doesn’t matter. London is dreadfully boring without you.”

A smirk plays on the edges of Lena’s smile as she pulls away from the hug. “I think it’s a known fact that you can’t live without me, Ms. Danvers,” she teases, leading her out of the building and into the car that’s already waiting for them outside. “Anyway, I assume that you have dinner reservations?”

“Yes,” Kara chirps happily, leaning towards the driver to point out directions, “It might not be up to your standards but hey -- there’s kale salad and -- ”

A hand on her knee stops Kara’s babbling. “It doesn’t matter where we eat,” Lena says gently, her green eyes warm and loving and _oh_ \-- Kara’s heart might’ve stuttered, “As long as you’re with me.”

The guilt rises in Kara’s throat once more. “Always,” she whispers, meaning it.

Dinner is great. The food is good. They talk about their day as if it’s the most interesting thing to talk about in the entire universe. Lena could be telling her things about mathematics for all she cared and Kara would still be listening. Kara only thinks about telling her that she’s Supergirl three times that night. Mostly because she’s so captivated with the way the low light is shining on Lena’s face, accentuating the sharp edges of her cheeks and that well defined jaw. Sometimes, it makes her forget that her brain is actually connected to her mouth because every question that Lena directs to her, she takes a long time to answer.

When it’s time for the check, Kara pays in cash and flounders when the waitress fixes them both with a wide smile and comments, “You guys look like such a lovely couple. Anniversary?”

Lena answers for her, smugly, if Kara has to say so, “Yes. Our third.”

The waitress leaves and Kara’s pretty sure her entire face is as bright as her cape. Her best friend ends up laughing (while apologizing) at her after dinner.

“I had a good time,” Lena tells her as they drive back to the hotel.

Kara smiles at her. “Me too.”  

“The kale salad was absolutely ravishing. It’s a shame you didn’t try it.”

“I remember telling you the other day that I severely hate your disgusting kale salad,” Kara reminds her, smirking when Lena adapts an offended expression all over her features.

“Alright, Kara,” the CEO says, walking side-by-side with Kara towards the elevator doors. She presses the number to the floor and hums in contentment. A comfortable silence passes over them until Lena glances at the blonde from the corner of her eye and says, “Besides your complete lack of taste in healthy food options, I really did have a wonderful dinner with you.”  

Kara flushes, awfully pleased with herself. She presses down on her dress in an effort to wipe the sweat off her hands. Okay. They’re in a good mood right now. It might actually be the perfect time to sit Lena down and tell her about Supergirl. Sure, it could obviously and seriously dampen the mood between them but at least Lena will be calm and rational enough to think clearly. It’s good timing. Okay, all Kara has to do is open her mouth and say, _Hey, Lena, there’s something that I’ve been literally trying to tell you for the past few days_ but once again, Lena beats her to it, reaching out and placing her fingers on Kara’s arm.

“Would you mind staying at my room?” Lena asks, hesitating slightly but letting her touch linger.

The elevator door slides open. Kara glances into the hallway. They both have separate hotel rooms for a reason. “Well,” she mumbles, thinking that it’s as good as a time as any, “Sure. I won’t mind.”

Lena nods, looking relieved. “Good. I think there’s still some champagne.”

Lena’s hotel room is less extravagant than her apartment but that’s already a given. When they enter, it’s pristine and clean. It doesn’t even look like Lena’s taken a seat on the bed. Kara lets her eyes roam around, clearly noting the similarities to her own room. And yet, she can’t help but feel the anxiety building in the pit of her stomach. It’s not like Lena invited her back to her place after dinner. It’s not like this is some kind of date. This is her best friend, for crying out loud. She can tell her anything. She can … she can tell her about Supergirl.

Lena pours her a glass of champagne. Her fingers are shaking. Kara can hear her heartbeat; too fast, like it’s running in a marathon. She wonders what’s gotten her so nervous.

“Thanks,” Kara says, taking a sip of her drink. It sizzles in her throat.

“Kara, dear,” Lena begins, gesturing to the edge of the queen-sized bed. Kara follows suit, feeling her own nerves tighten in anticipation. “I’ve been trying to gather the courage for this.”

“Oh my Ra -- _God_ ,” Kara exclaims, letting out a sigh, “I have too. There’s been something that I’ve been dying to tell you but we keep getting interrupted.”

The look of confusion on Lena’s face is only there for a brief moment. Then she nods, understanding. “Perhaps I should go first?” she says, tilting her head to the side and sipping her drink. She later puts the glass on the bedside table.

Kara nods too fast. “Okay.”

“First off, I want you to understand that you are in no position to reciprocate whatever it is that I’m going to tell you,” Lena starts, wringing her hands together, “and that I will understand if you no longer wish to speak with me afterwards. When my brother died, he told me a few things. Now, I’ve had time to think about this and I have come to the conclusion that I -- _Kara_?”

Something’s wrong. Kara suddenly feels dizzy. The air in the room feels like lead, bringing her down to her knees. Lena is quick to grab onto her arms, calling her name frantically but even her voice sounds like it’s coming from underwater. Kara tries to breathe. Her vision swims. She knows what this is. The all-too familiar sensation of having her skin peeled off reminds her of another time, another enemy, another Luthor. Besides, the bright green lines slowly appearing on her skin screams Kryptonite. Did somebody follow them here? Has she unwittingly put Lena in danger, once again?

 _Lena_.  

Kara raises her head and meets Lena’s terrified gaze. “I’m sorry,” she stutters, knowing that she sees the green lines and knowing that she understands what it means, “I didn’t -- I was trying to tell you -- ” A wave of pain washes over her and she cries out, collapsing on the ground. There are fists pounding on the hotel door. The Kryptonite is getting closer. “ _Run_ ,” she tells Lena, trying to push her away, “ _Go._ ”

Lena doesn’t budge. She glares at the door, reaching down to pull out a baton from her heel. The weapon sparks with electricity.  

Kara shakes her head, wanting to sob. Even after -- even after finding out like _this_ , here is Lena, still willing to protect her against all odds. “No,” she spits out, leaning on her elbows and trying to push her best friend away.  Her efforts are weak and futile. “You _can’t_. Just go and hide, please.” Her voice cracks.

Lena only shakes her head, her face darkening when the door to the hotel finally flings open. Kara looks over her shoulder and finds Eve, rage and grief written all over her features. She holds a small box of Green Kryptonite in her hands. Behind her are three of Lex’s henchmen, all armed and ready for confrontation.

“This is for Lex,” Eve snarls. She steps closer and Kara’s body _burns_.

The last thing she sees before she blacks out is Lena stomping right up to Eve’s face and swinging the baton forward, only to be blocked by one of henchmen. Then the effects of Kryptonite only grow stronger and Kara slumps against the floor, despite wanting nothing more than to stand up and fight alongside Lena.

She should’ve told her first.

…

When she wakes up, she’s tied to a chair. The box of Kryptonite is placed on a table a few feet in front of her so her entire body still feels like the aftermath of roadkill. She can see green lines glowing on the skin of her legs, vibrant and pulsing. Her mouth feels like a bunch of cottons have been shoved into it. _Rao_ , she thinks to herself, raising her head and looking around, _if they’ve done anything to Lena_ \--

She’s in a dingy looking basement with boxes all stacked around and a door right in front of where she’s seated. There’s only a single light bulb in the entire room and it keeps flickering every few seconds. Eve and her three lackeys are nowhere to be found. Kara tries to use her X-Ray vision to look around but the Kryptonite only grows stronger against her powers. She lets out a breath of frustration.

“Kara.” Lena’s voice. Calm and collected. She can still hear the tinge of panic underneath. “Kara, I’m here. Look at me.”

Kara glances to the side and finds Lena also tied in her own chair. There’s a nasty looking bruise on her temple. When Kara sees it, anger flares up inside her, hot and boiling. She has never ever hated the effects of Kryptonite on her until this very moment. Cursing Eve and Lex inside her head, Kara tries to push against her restraints but it’s no good. If the Kryptonite wasn’t around, she could’ve easily destroyed everything around her but for now, she’s only as strong as a human.

And humans aren’t strong enough to break ropes.

“Are you okay?” she asks, clenching her fists and trying to gather some pent-up powers.

“I’m fine,” Lena tells her smoothly, wincing in pain, “They just knocked me out, that’s all.”

Kara finds a sob rising in her throat. “I’m sorry,” she chokes, tears in her eyes, “I should’ve told you a long time ago. I didn’t mean to let it get this far and now look at you -- tied up in this smelly old basement because -- because -- because of _me_.” She allows herself to cry then, her shoulders shaking as everything that she’s been holding inside ever since Kaznia -- no, ever since the day she met Lena -- bursts open.

“Kara, please,” Lena says, “It’s okay, I understand.”

“ _Why_ ?” Kara demands, “After I lied to you for _years_ , why do you still -- ”

The look on Lena’s face is heartbreaking. Her eyes shine with unshed tears as her mouth curls into a sad, little smile. “What can I say?” she murmurs, sounding resigned, “Love is blind, after all.”

Something within Kara shakes and falls apart at those words. “Lena, what -- ”

The door swings open, revealing Eve and her lackeys. Kara straightens up, wanting nothing more than for her Heat Vision to work so that she can pay them back for hurting Lena. Eve notices this and smiles cruelly.

“You can’t hurt me,” she says.

“I will,” Kara promises, her voice low, “When I get out of here, you’re going to wish that you never laid a hand on Lena.”

Eve tuts. “That’s sweet, dear, but the thing is, you’re never getting out of here.”

Kara is so _furious_ that she’s literally shaking in her restraints. One of the lackeys swings his fist at her and stars pop out of her eyes. Lena starts screaming profanities at them.

“There’s no need for that,” Eve says, tilting her chin, “I’m surprised that the two of you are still friends, since Kara’s been lying to you for years now, Lena.”

Lena spits at her. “At least she isn’t a traitor like you.”

“Perhaps. Or maybe you’re just letting your feelings cloud your better judgment.” Eve takes a step closer and takes the box of Kryptonite into her hands. When she shows it to Kara, its effects makes it feel like there’s acid underneath her skin. She refuses to scream, holding the pain in and trying not to let it show how badly it hurts her.

“ _Stop_!” Lena yells, her voice strained, “Please, don’t! Take me, instead! I was the one who shot Lex!”

Eve whirls around. “ _You_ killed him?”

“Yes,” Lena bites, “I would do it again in a heartbeat.”

A low growl escapes Eve. She turns to Lena and slaps her across the cheek. Kara surges forward, only to fall flat on her face with the chair right on top of her. Her glasses break at the impact. She yelps in pain, her head throbbing with the effects of Kryptonite. The henchmen reach over and right her.

“You don’t deserve to be a Luthor,” Eve spits.

Lena doesn’t say anything. Instead, her eyes are fixed on Kara.

“Don’t hurt her,” Kara grumbles, struggling against the ropes, “It’s me that you want. It’s me that Lex has always been after.”

“Yes,” Eve agrees, turning to face her again. The sight of the Kryptonite reduces Kara into a puddle of pain. “You are who I am after. Besides, I think it would hurt Lena the most to watch you die right in front of her eyes.”

“ _No_!” Lena yells. It’s in that moment that chaos suddenly breaks loose. Eve shoves the radioactive Kryptonite right at Kara’s face, making her so nauseous that her entire world spins and she nearly throws up. Through heavy-lidded eyes, she sees Lena breaking out of her ropes and aiming a kick right at Eve’s knees. Eve stumbles, hitting her head on the floor, and the box of Kryptonite falls at a distance away, far enough that Kara can feel some of her strength returning. Pushing past the dizziness, she manages to rip apart the ropes that hold her down and to slam her chair right on top of one henchman reaching to grab Lena by the hair.

Lena whips around and pulls out _another_ baton from her other heel. She strikes the second henchman by the neck and he falls, shrieking. He collapses next to Eve.

Kara glares at the last henchman, who raises his hands in surrender and flees. When the silence envelops them, the first thing Lena does is rush over to Kara and wrap her arms around her tightly. It's a moment of weakness and instinct but it's enough to calm them both down. Kara allows herself to sigh in relief, closing her eyes and thanking Rao that Lena is safe. The effects of the Kryptonite still linger but it's not as painful as before.

"Are you alright?" Lena quietly asks.

"I'm okay," Kara answers, pulling away and inspecting the bruise on Lena's head and her split lip, "We need to get you checked up."

"I'm fine." Lena tries to take a step back, only to be pulled back in.

"No, you're not." Kara takes a deep, shuddering breath as she touches the blood on Lena's mouth. "You got hurt because of me."

The brunette stares at her, wide-eyed and haltingly beautiful. Sometimes, Kara has to take a moment to admire the Luthor's beauty — her bright green eyes, sharp features and pale skin — because it always feels like it's never going to be enough to drink her in and acknowledge her looks. You could form a religion with the way Lena is looking at her now, soft and warm. Like her entire world hasn't just flipped upside down with the revelation of Kara's well-hidden secret.

"I've never seen you without glasses," Lena admits, "I mean — I _have_ but not as Kara."

"You're not angry with me," Kara observes.

"I'm not. I _was_ but not anymore."

Kara shakes her head, confused. "But you just found out now."

Lena bites her lower lip, taking a step back and rubbing away the tears in her eyes. "That's what I was trying to tell you," she murmurs, "Kara, I — "

There's a sudden flash of light in the corner of her eye and then Kara's dropping down on her knees once more, holding her side where a bullet has _actually_ pierced her skin. Pain flares through her entire body, hot and burning, and it doesn't take her half a second to realize that the bullet has been laced with Kryptonite. The veins in her skin glow greenish again while blood pours out of her wound in steady streams. Kara turns her head and sees Eve pointing a gun at her from where she's lying on the ground. Lena screams, kicking away at Eve's hand as Kara gasps, trying to breathe but the pain is too much and _oh Rao_ — she doesn't want to die. Not now. Not after Lena just found out about her.  

"Kara," Lena says shakily and Kara _hates_ making her go through this again, "Kara, it's okay — I knocked her out. I — I'm going to pull the bullet out. I just — I need some supplies. Can you — can you hold on for a minute?"

Kara can't. It's just too much. Her vision swims, turns and flats out fades into nothingness. She can feel Lena's hands on her side, trying to stop the bleeding, and she can hear her voice, frantic and desperate, begging her to stay because — because she loves her? _Wait_. Kara tries to speak, even though her mouth feels too heavy. She opens her eyes and finds Lena's face hovering above hers, distorted and misshapen through her foggy vision but thankfully, still there.

"Wha — what did you say?" she manages to stutter.

"I've called Alex," Lena rushes, sounding relieved that Kara is still talking, "The DEO's on the way. I saw a few scissors on the table there — I — I need to get the bull — bullet out. Kara? Are you — ? Can you still hear me?"

"Be — before that," Kara asks again, needing to _know_. She coughs violently and the pain triples in volume. An agonized shout leaves her lips.

"Before — ? Oh." Lena lets out a humorless laugh, facepalming. Blood gets on her forehead and Kara wants nothing more than to wipe the crimson away. Lena is too _good_ for this, too _pure._ "Jesus, Kara. You just got hit with Kryptonite and you want me to repeat the fact that I love you?"

The pain is nearly unbearable at this point but Kara latches on those words, her eyes growing wide at the admission. For a short second, she even forgets that there's a Kryptonite-laced bullet hole on her side because _oh_ — _Lena loves her_. It's kind of funny; how those words and a near-death experience is what ultimately gets Kara to realize that she loves Lena too.

"Oh, Rao," Kara whimpers, the pain returning, "I — I'm an idiot."

"No, no, no, you're not. God, I shouldn't have said it now," Lena says, sobbing and apparently taking her reaction as rejection, "It's fine. We can talk about this later. Just — just don't pass out on me — _Kara_!"

Kara can't help it. It's not everyday that you get hurt with a bullet laced with an out of this world substance strong enough to kill you _and_ realize that you're in love with your best friend at the same time. Forgive her if everything is starting to be too much. And as much as she doesn't want to pass out on Lena like this, the pain eventually takes over and she closes her eyes, falling unconscious.

…

When she wakes up, she's in the Sun Room. The familiar glow of the yellow light relaxes her immensely but when she shifts around in her bed, a distant pain in her side makes her wince. Ah. Right. She was shot by Eve. The effects of Kryptonite hasn't quite left her system yet. She doesn't even want to think about how Alex reacted to seeing her, all bloody and beaten and lying in the arms of none other than Lena Luthor —

_Lena._

Kara jolts awake, which is very bad, because she ends up crying out in agony when her entire side flares up. An alarm rings throughout the entire floor and it is only then that Kara notices that she's attached to a machine checking her vitals. She doesn't know much about being a doctor but those squiggly lines don't look too good. Exhaustion pulls at her bones, lulling her back to sleep.

When she comes to, she finds Alex sitting next to her, looking as if she's aged a few years since they last saw each other. Kara groans, rubbing at her eyes as she tries to sit up. Alex's firm hand on her shoulder stops her.

"The sight of you in this room is never going to sit well with me," Alex says softly, palming her cheek, "Are you okay? It's against doctor's orders to be moving around."

"I'm fine," Kara whispers, "Just sore."

"Well, you _did_ have Kryptonite inside you."

Kara shakes her head at the fact, pieces of her memory slowly returning as she regains her strength. Her entire body screams in protest as she sits up on her elbows. Alex sighs, knowing that nothing can stop her stubborn sister from going against orders, and gives her a glass of water. Kara drinks this hungrily, not realizing just how parched she is until the first drops of water hit her tongue.

“You’re lucky that I was already in London by the time Lena called,” her sister says grimly, “The second she didn’t give me her hourly updates about where the two of you were, I knew that something was wrong.”

Kara snorts, because _of course_ , Lena would do something like that.

"Where is she?" she asks, not bothering to hide the worry in her voice.

"Here," Alex answers, "She hasn’t left the DEO since you guys came here a few days ago. She’s fine. I asked her not to come see you. Her presence might … frazzle you."

"I am not easily frazzled."

Her sister rolls her eyes. "You sure about that, Romeo?" When Kara doesn't respond, Alex smirks and sits next to her on the bed. "While you were sleeping, you might've said several incriminating things. I even recorded a few.”

“Oh Rao,” Kara mumbles, rubbing at her eyes, “What did I say?”

“Something between the lines of ‘Lena, I’m sorry’ and ‘Lena, I love you,’ which is all very sweet and all, but sort of very awkward for me to hear.” Alex lets out a burst of laughter when Kara tries to shove her. Even though she is still weak, she manages to push her sister halfway from the bed. “Okay. Okay. I’m kidding. You just kept mumbling her name, that’s all.”

Kara feels her cheeks warm. “She knows about me,” she mutters.

“Of course, she _did_ see you writhing in pain because of Kryptonite.” Alex grows somber then, eyes sad and sorrowful. “It really did a number on her, seeing you like that. She wouldn’t stop blaming herself.”

The thought of Lena hating herself even more than she already does is enough to reduce Kara into a puddle of tears. She lets Alex wrap her in a good old sisterly hug while her thoughts go out to Lena. She wonders how she is. She wonders if she’s thinking about her. Then her heart quickens suddenly, the memory of Lena’s words _you want me to repeat the fact that I love you_ flashing across her mind like a huge neon sign. _No_ , she thinks to herself, bewildered, _did she really say that_ \-- ? Maybe she was really dying then, because there is seriously no way Lena could ever love her after she kept her Supergirl secret hidden for years.

"What's on your mind?" Alex asks softly.

"I need to find her," Kara mumbles, disentangling herself from her sister's grip, "There's something I need to say."

Alex fixes her with a stern look, probably debating whether or not she's going to be a good doctor or a good sister. Kara's puppy eyes must've worked its magic, however, because she lets out a tired sigh and nods. "You've been here long enough," she says, "I last saw Lena at the rooftop. Tell her that I said hi.”

Kara nods mutely to herself, already getting out of bed and walking around the room. She’s dressed in a hospital gown, which is understandable, since her old clothes would’ve been soaked in blood already. She changes into the fresh clothes her sister prepared for her. There’s even a new pair of glasses. She slips that on too. After making sure that she’s all changed, Alex leaves but not before she tells her that she’ll be in the main room and Kara nods again to let her know that she heard her.

Then it’s just silence. Blissful silence. The pain in her side has subsided to a low throb but she’s still very weak. She can’t even use her X-Ray Vision to see if Lena is really at the rooftop or her Super Hearing to gauge if she could be anywhere else. Still, Kara allows herself a rare moment of peace before she sees Lena again and everything else will start crashing back down.

A few minutes later, Kara steps foot in the rooftop and finds her best friend leaning against the railing, watching the glow of the city lights. She holds her breath. It’s only been a few days since they last saw each other but how could Lena have grown even more beautiful? Kara stares at her sharp side profile, at the jet black hair hung on one shoulder, at the fingers poised under her jaw. She remembers how she felt when Lena told her she loved her and wonders if there will ever come a time where her life didn’t feel as complete as it did during that singular moment.

“Lena,” Kara calls, a bit breathlessly if she has to say so.

Lena turns, relief flooding her features. “Kara,” she says, smiling brightly. She crosses the space between them and wraps Kara in a hug so tight it knocks the air out of the blonde’s lungs. “Are you sure you’re supposed to be walking around? Alex was pretty strict about your confinement.”

“I’m fine,” Kara whispers, breathing her in, “What about you?”

“Nothing too severe, don’t worry.” When Lena pulls back, her green eyes are shining. “God, I thought I lost you for a second there. You -- you actually stopped _breathing_.”

Kara can’t imagine what must’ve been going on through Lena’s mind during that moment. Guilt claws at her throat. “I’m sorry,” she immediately says, sniffing, “I shouldn’t have -- Eve was still out in the open. It was stupid for me to think that she was going to leave us alone, after what happened to Lex.”

“This isn’t your fault, dear,” Lena assures her. Kara glances at the bruise on her temple and the split lip, feeling sick all over again. “ _Kara_.” The CEO reaches out and tucks her finger under the blonde’s chin. “Don’t blame yourself for things that are out of your control. We had no idea that Eve was planning to hurt us.”

Kara sighs, closing her eyes and willing the tears to go away. “Don’t blame yourself too,” she whispers, “I know that some part of you does.”

Lena lets out her own sigh, nodding slowly. “Okay,” she murmurs, “I won’t. Just -- I’m just glad you’re safe. I -- I wouldn’t know _what_ to do if I ever lost you, Kara -- ”

“I love you,” Kara says suddenly, her brain short-circuiting. Lena turns to her sharply, her eyes wide and her mouth open as she struggles to understand what her best friend has just said. It’s probably not the best place to say this -- Kara literally just came out of the Sun Room looking like she’s been through hell and back -- but she’s done with perfect timing or perfect places. She nearly _died_ at the hands of a crazed Lex Luthor fan. She doesn’t think that there’s ever going to be a perfect time to tell Lena something as important as _this_.

“Kara,” Lena says slowly, taking a step back, “What are you -- ?”

“I love you,” Kara repeats, firmer this time, “and I’m Supergirl.”

Lena raises her eyebrow at that. “I know.”

Of course she does. Lena didn’t just watch Kara’s skin glow green with Kryptonite only for her not to realize that she isn’t Supergirl. But Kara still thinks she owes it to her to say it as plainly as this, so that no further misunderstanding can come out of it. Her hands shake and tremble but they manage to hold onto Lena’s.

“I’ve been lying to you for years, Lena,” Kara continutes, struggling to look at the brunette  in the eye. “Ever since the day we met -- ”

“I know.”

“I’ve breached your complete trust in our friendship -- ”

“I know.”

“I’ve hurt you in the worst way possible and I -- ” Kara glances at Lena and only finds soft green eyes looking back. Every time she thought of confessing her identity as Supergirl, she’s always imagined Lena yelling at her or ignoring her the whole time she tried to explain. This --   _this_ isn’t what she imagined at all. “Why aren’t you mad at me?”

Lena lets out a small laugh, lets go of her hands and walks over to the door to lock it. “No more interruptions,” she says firmly, “so that I can finally tell you what I’ve been trying to tell you this past week.”

“Right.” Kara is still slightly confused about how calm Lena is right now. “What is it you’ve wanted to tell me?”

“I’ve known that you were Supergirl since Lex died,” Lena briskly replies, completely shocking Kara, “He was the one who told me before he succumbed to his wounds.”

“What the -- ”

Lena gives her a severe glare. “No interruptions.” She takes a deep breath and then continues on, “At first, I was rightfully upset. I didn’t plan on speaking to you for the rest of our lives since I couldn’t understand why you didn’t tell me. Was it because of my last name? Didn’t you trust me enough? And then I started blaming myself for not seeing it so soon. Remember that trip I took to the Middle East for some important meetings? Well, I was actually just in my apartment trying to figure out how I really felt about you being Supergirl…”

Kara bites her lower lip, the guilt and anxiety returning again. Lena had known all along. She wants to say she’s sorry once more but she doubts that all the apologies in the world could ever make up for the fact that she had betrayed Lena in the worst way possible.

“I hated you,” Lena quietly whispers, tears in her eyes, and Kara hears her heart breaking inside her chest, “for a second there, I really did. But then I really thought about it -- I remembered all the times Supergirl saved me, defended me, believed in me and -- and it was _you_ , Kara. I was just so stupid and caught up in the fact that you were Supergirl that I failed to realize that all along, you’ve been Kara Danvers. You’ve only been trying to protect me, even after all this time. Which leads me to the other thing that I was trying to tell you the other day before you collapsed in my arms.”

Lena takes a dangerously slow step closer towards Kara who gulps nervously. It’s kind of amazing really -- how the low tilt of Lena’s eyebrows and that damn lip bite could make Kara forget the fact that she’s an alien actually capable of human speech. She even forgets the dull pain in her side when Lena reaches over and tugs her close, close enough that Kara can see the sparkle in Lena’s eyes when she looks at her.

“Let me say this as clearly and plainly as possible,” Lena tells her, her tone low and _oh_ \-- seductive, “so that nobody misunderstands anything or interrupts me. I love you, Kara Danvers, regardless if you’re Supergirl or not. I love you, even though you hurt me and lied to me. I love you because all you’ve ever done is protect me. There. I’ve said it! Now -- earlier, when you said that you love _me_ , did you mean it in a -- a -- _romantic_ way or am I just fooling myself -- ?”

Kara kisses her. It’s soft and sweet. She pulls away just as quickly. “I’m sorry,” she mumbles, frazzled, “You said no interruptions and here I am, interrupting. Oh Rao. I’m sorry -- please do continue with what you’re saying but it’s kind of hard to focus when you’re looking at me like _that_ and what was your question again -- I might’ve zoned out there but I was _totally_ \-- ”

Lena grabs her by the front of her shirt and pulls her close. This time, the kiss is longer and conveys words that aren’t enough to tell Lena the magnitude of her emotions. She can feel Lena gasping into her mouth and the steady thrum of her heartbeat against her chest. Lena’s fingers curl around the nape of her neck, pulling her close and breathing her in. It’s intoxicating and addicting. It’s so much better than potstickers and ice cream. Kara can’t stop smiling.

“Well,” Lena manages to murmur after they pull away, “that’s _one_ interruption I’m willing to let slide.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> P.S. If you're wondering how Lena got out of her restraints -- she's a Luthor, enough said. 
> 
> Also, I just fucking read The Fifth Wall by Black_Tea_and_Bones and holy shit??? That fucking fic broke my heart??? I was sobbing by the end of it??? Which led me to wanting to fucking write a Supercorp AU with kids?? Can you all suggest some AUs for me to write? I'll reply to your comment if I'll like your idea. Thanks! 
> 
> GUYS I JUST FOUND THE PERFECT AU FROM THE COMMENT SECTION (by myfeelings truly) Here check it out:
> 
> "AU: An alien pod crash-lands right on the back of Lena’s house in Metropolis. Inside, she finds a baby with blonde hair and green eyes bearing the House of El and a distress signal spoken in Kryptonian. She thinks of no other option except to call Supergirl, whom she hasn’t seen for the past few months after their fallout, and to give her the baby. However, it is subsequently realized that the baby is of Kryptonian and human DNA, more specifically Lena Luthor’s."
> 
> What do you think?? Comment below if you'd like that fic lmao 
> 
> Love, Mia.


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